I can't speak for the rest of the world so much, but America is obsessed with sex. While at the same time there is an attack on religion. I wonder if there can be an unhealthy level of spiritual obsession? I don't know the answer to this (but overzealous behavior is readily apparent, whether or not it ever reflects any actual spirituality or not is another matter). What I do know is there is a deficit of spirituality in America. We've taken God out of the picture even though He was our foundation. It's a vacuum, a void. This deficit is felt in the religions of America. In the schools of America. The legal system of America. And the homes of America. America, as a whole, is certainly not guilty of any sort of spiritual obsession.
What is it that can replace spirituality? It is the physical body, the objective world. Sexuality.
Although the progress of civilisation has undoubtedly contributed to assuage the fiercer passions of human nature, it seems to have been less favourable to the virtue of chastity.... The refinements of life [seem to] corrupt, [even as] they polish the [relationship] of the sexes. -Edward Gibbon
For ages there has been dispute among philosophers about the nature of soul and body: Where does one begin? Where does the other end? Does either of them exist at all?
Modern science focuses on the objective. What can be seen? What can be experienced? What can be proven, quantified, and labeled? What is felt? The focus is on the body, on the physical; and certainly shies away from the realms of intuition and the unseen. In public discourse feelings are often discounted. Yet, a sunset can still move someone with its stunning beauty, music moves to tears, and viewing the night sky in all of its splendour can expand our minds while also making us feel small.
Roger Scruton talks about beauty and refers to sex, lust, and pornography in his book "Beauty: A Very Short Introduction". His discussion involves the idea that lust "involves... the eclipse of the soul by the body." That pornography to its end has no element of humanizing the sexual image. That image is parts and pieces and represents solely sex as an object. I'm not arguing the religiosity of the issue. It is the spirituality, or at the very least, the human factor, the personality, the non-fantasy element. Scruton calls it "personhood".
Modern media focuses so much upon the image. It's a verifiable fact that sex sells. This post practically doubled any previous readership of my blog based on the inclusion of "sex" as the subject matter.
I've been among military men who seek sex like animals. Men who spoke of date-rape as sport. Men who watch pornography together on the television like a family might sit together to watch Disney's "Lion King". Obviously an extreme. The body is meat to them. Ripe for the devouring.
In stark contrast, among members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (as well as other religions), chastity is encouraged. Certainly there are many who have had experience or regularly transgress these expectations. By-and-large they wait for marriage to indulge, which does lend them a gross lack of experience. Surely this is not a bad thing, nor a particularly new, or unheard of phenomenon in the history of the world. The true problem is not their lack of experience, it is the disconnect of body and soul.
Our inherent design is towards physical intimacy and the creation of progeny. Whether you look at God for this or not it is un-disputable (though some would argue simply because they love to argue). Being completely blind to the realities that physical intimacy brings is foolishness. Ignorance is not "purity" and knowledge is not "impurity".
It is not that I think there should be more sexual experience. I do, however, think there needs to be more understanding (for both groups, the 'carnal minded' and the 'spiritual minded'). Communication and education before and during relationships is key. Even 'experienced' people are often woefully ignorant when it comes to human sexuality. I could discuss the psychological determinants of impotence (but I will refer to it). I could discuss the myths surrounding female orgasm. I won't do that here because I'm only referencing a couple of the issues. (the reader can explore these quite readily in depth).
The human organism is not a body existing without a spirit. Although, indulgence in sexual gratification is not necessary in cultivating the health of the body; There are many techniques and methods of health. The body has its own ways of dealing with stresses and time pressures which exert themselves on the reproductive organs (nocturnal emissions, menstrual cycles... etc).
The real question is what should we do with our sexuality? Is it simply a sensory hunger, like eating? Which many people do when they aren't hungry. Or isn't it something that should feed us and satisfy us? There is beauty in human sexuality. We can only appreciate the finer details through a total union of both body and spirit.
Sure one can eat McDonalds or Burger King their whole life; Microwave dinners, pastries that come in cellophane packages, or cans of pasta in sauce. Wouldn't we rather seek the highest tastes in what we consume? We pretend like prepackaged foods are more convenient (in ways they are). This is the same with sex. We accept what the world tells us (and sells us), and what we learn in the media and locker rooms. It has the potential of being an act of high taste and refinement between two people who put their time, effort and energy into the sexual relationship. Like a five star, four-course meal. So many people settle for "junk food sex": the easy, the convenient, self-serving and unfulfilling.
I've heard a relationship referred to as "sex" from a psychology professor. This is to say, "THE WHOLE THING IS SEX." If there are stresses and struggles outside of the bedroom, those will enter the bedroom regardless of intended separation. This is why Viagra and other erectile dysfunction treatments enjoy fantastic first time sales, but horrible follow up sales. Performance in the bedroom is not the issue. The problems in the relationship are situated elsewhere. A pill will not fix a broken relationship.
Why do men and women settle for the low things of the world? For relationships that don't connect on a deeper level and lead to the highest beauties of human intimacy? I think it's because it's easy.
We have the ability to wield beauty. We have the ability to cherish beauty. Most people don't even know it is there, right there in front of them. At the tips of their fingers. We have to struggle for it, try for it, and work for it.
With greater effort and commitment, such as marriage, the body is brought under the ruling of spiritual mastery. Sex is physical and between bodies, but true intimacy and connection cannot occur without the spiritual light, the discerning of spiritual light in the other, nor without the sharing of one's own spiritual light. Selfishness has no place in the act or it is simply a physical act. Lonely and cold (no matter how impassioned).
Where is true religion? It is found in the embrace of man and woman who vow on a level deeper than the body that by what they do, by what they intend they are creation. They are gods. The divinity of the act can be accomplished without their participation in the divine, but as a fulfilling and ennobling sacrament there must be a mutual involvement. Give and take.
We are so much more than brute beasts.
Without the divine elements of intimacy. Without a higher purpose. We make the world look more and more like Aldous Huxkley's "Brave New World".
"Where Soul Meets Body" -Death Cab For Cutie
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